Sunday, June 28, 2009

What Happens at Flameburger Stays At Flameburger

This morning, I went to flameburger for breakfast. I realized something important: what happens at flameburger stays at flameburger. Especially for the old men perusing the hot, fresh crop of waitress that FB has to offer. A couple of things I overheard are noted below.

NOTE: if you are unfamiliar with Flameburger, and/or our terminology, nicknames, etc used, please read this.

OH #1

Old men sitting at a booth. Blinds closed. Mom (wearing shirt with unbuttoned top) goes over to the booth, leans over the table and opens the blinds.

OLD MAN #1: "Can you do that again?"

OH #2

Another old man, with his wife (I assume) at the booth next to the group of old men. Wife gets up to go to the restrooom. Mom comes over to take the order from the guy.

OLD MAN #2: "You know what I want? .... A first date."

Wife comes back to the table, breakfast is ordered.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Hope yall don't have epilepsy.

"My people believe that the White Lodge is a place where the spirits that rule man and nature reside. There is also a legend of a place called the Black Lodge. The shadow self of the White Lodge. Legend says that every spirit must pass through there on the way to perfection. There, you will meet your own shadow self. My people call it The Dweller on the Threshold."

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

one of those, so a guy walks into a bar jokes...

7:30 am this morning i went to get some coffee before work.
i decided to wear a skateboard shirt that had a similar graphic but written far smaller on the back of the shoulders:

i got my coffee and i proceeded to my car.
being the considerate person i am, i held the door to the Caribou open so that the older guy with the drink carrier behind me could get through.
we both started for our cars and the older guy says,
"whoa!, for a minute there i thought your shirt said DICK ALL DAY."
i turned half awake, and chuckled,
"i sure hope i don't get that all day, it seemed like it was going to be a pleasant one so far"

Monday, April 6, 2009

fight or flight

today i wore this shirt:

a dad and mom walked into the store with toddler shortly behind.
the parents got a third of the way in, the little boy stopped dead at the entrance.
he stared directly at me.
dad turned to make sure his son has followed.
the little boy stayed still at the entrance, his hands raised into claws, face frozen in a scowling grimace.
"rawr!" the little boy mouthed from a distance.
dad bewildered, "well come on, what the hell are you doing?"
the little boy put his claws away and turned to run.
dad leaped to grab him yelling, "where are you going? get in here!"
the little boy being seized quickly yelped, "daddy there's a monster!"
the dad lifted him up to prevent him from running and hauled him in, as he approached me the dad confused said,
"what monster? what is wrong with you?"
the dad turned to look at me.
i stood harmlessly with clipboard in hand.
he slowly looked down to my shirt, completely bewildered, and chuckled "thats not a monster, thats a t-shirt...good lord...."
as the toddler passed me he tried to hide his face in his father's shoulder and whispered in a long slow hiss "eyeballs....daddy......."

Thursday, March 26, 2009

A Lesson, The OST: Part 1

What happened to music in films? There was a time when great movies and television shows were accompanied by a sweet, sweet OST that captured the mood, touch, feel and emotion of the film specific to each scene. Usually scored by a single musician or group. This is the first part of an exhibition on a few key players.

Case: To Live And Die In L.A. (1985)

To Live and Die in L.A. is an outstanding movie starring a bunch of nobody's and William DaFoe. It's a typical cop movie - undercover cops, breaking rules, counterfeit money, car chases. It stands out from the rest because it's got a really SICK soundtrack written by Wang Chung. Everyone probably knows Wang Chung because of "everybody have fun tonight", but it seems that not many know about the film work - most notably in TLADILA.

God Damnitt this movie is awesome, here is the opening title.

One thing that is amazing about Wang Chung in this OST is that they manage to basically recycle the same song over and over again throughout the movie. This is a different song, same drums/bass/beat, closing credits:

Holy SHIT I love this movie.

To top it off, it wouldn't be a fucking excellent OST without a title track for the opening scene. Enjoy this view:

Go watch the movie, dummy. It is very sick. For now, watch this trailer, also a wang chung original.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

true story.

if i had too much wine, and stumbled downstairs while adam was DJing and decided to rap, this would be the result.

Believe ESP

Yesterday morning i got a text message from my brother saying "baby's coming today" - his wife, 9 mo pregs, was expecting all week/end. Then I became engulfed in a shit storm of work and totally forgot about it. Never got a call either, which probably didn't help.

I can't remember exactly when, but around 8 or 9 pm I was sitting on the couch watching TV, and randomly the thought came back into my head. I didn't hear anything from my family all day. I immediately called my brother up, no answer. i called my mom, and she answered. The baby was born just minutes before.

My mom didn't know if it was a boy or girl... they were waiting till birth to be surprised, and my brother wasn't telling my parents until they got into the room. Brother calls back, it's a boy.

Let's put this into perspective. The kid's a dude. The name's Jacob. I was sitting next to roommate, Jacob. We were watching Jacob's Ladder. I had a moment minutes after the kid's birth that made me call my brother/family.

fuck yall. Paranormal. Extrasensory. Space. Extraterrestrial. shit, dudes, its real.

Believe ESP - The Deerhoofs