Tuesday, February 26, 2008

How not to appear masculine

I was having Target withdrawals (I hadn't been there since Sunday) so I stopped off on my way home to pick up some mailing boxes. They had 1 small size, and 6 empty spots. I should have walked out right then and there, but its Target, so I wandered for 45 more minutes to see what else I might "need".

I strolled through the grocery, picking up a gallon of whole milk (who knew!) and a California Pizza Kitchen Thai Chicken Pizza (only $5604.00!) as a dinner treat. I found myself sniffling from the cold weather outside and remembered we were out of Kleenex, and although I RARELY buy a 3 pack ($5.00 for Kleenex boggles my mind), I picked it up anyway with the understanding that it will be nice to be "stocked up."

Finally, as with any trip to Target, I visited the DVD department. They have the same 30-45 movies for sale every time I go back there, but I can't help myself. I'm always a sucker for a good deal. Sure enough, I see Stand By Me for the three-hundredth time, and decide to finally purchase it at the discounted price of $6.50.

I make my way to the register, and wrestle with the thought of waiting behind the 1 person in the regular lane with 500 items, or waiting in the "10 items or less" line with 5 other people. I'm a sucker for punishment, so I went with the 1 person line (and ended up waiting 5 minutes). As I neatly stack my items onto the belt, one by one, I realize how emasculating my purchase will be. Sure enough the 17-year old eye balls my sappy-movie, "off-the-diet" frozen pizza, truckload of Kleenex's and my half gallon of liquid fat to wash it all down with. The clerk looked at me like a train wrecked college co-ed, I knew I failed.

You could write a book about Target.

2 comments:

stacey said...

i wonder how much our house spends at target a year. we need to figure out how to get sponsored by them.

Momola said...

haha adam it's nick...johns son.
you need to kick the target addiction. and this was fairly intertaining to read. :P