Nobody does the dishes™

What Happens at Flameburger Stays At Flameburger

2009-06-28T21:15:00.003-05:00

This morning, I went to flameburger for breakfast. I realized something important: what happens at flameburger stays at flameburger. Especially for the old men perusing the hot, fresh crop of waitress that FB has to offer. A couple of things I overheard are noted below.

NOTE: if you are unfamiliar with Flameburger, and/or our terminology, nicknames, etc used, please read this.

OH #1

Old men sitting at a booth. Blinds closed. Mom (wearing shirt with unbuttoned top) goes over to the booth, leans over the table and opens the blinds.

OLD MAN #1: "Can you do that again?"

OH #2

Another old man, with his wife (I assume) at the booth next to the group of old men. Wife gets up to go to the restrooom. Mom comes over to take the order from the guy.

OLD MAN #2: "You know what I want? .... A first date."

Wife comes back to the table, breakfast is ordered.

Hope yall don't have epilepsy.

2009-06-03T16:42:00.003-05:00

"My people believe that the White Lodge is a place where the spirits that rule man and nature reside. There is also a legend of a place called the Black Lodge. The shadow self of the White Lodge. Legend says that every spirit must pass through there on the way to perfection. There, you will meet your own shadow self. My people call it The Dweller on the Threshold."

www.dwelleronthethreshold.com

one of those, so a guy walks into a bar jokes...

2009-04-29T19:09:00.006-05:00

7:30 am this morning i went to get some coffee before work.
i decided to wear a skateboard shirt that had a similar graphic but written far smaller on the back of the shoulders:

i got my coffee and i proceeded to my car.
being the considerate person i am, i held the door to the Caribou open so that the older guy with the drink carrier behind me could get through.
we both started for our cars and the older guy says,
"whoa!, for a minute there i thought your shirt said DICK ALL DAY."
i turned half awake, and chuckled,
"i sure hope i don't get that all day, it seemed like it was going to be a pleasant one so far"

fight or flight

2009-04-06T19:38:00.007-05:00

today i wore this shirt:

a dad and mom walked into the store with toddler shortly behind.
the parents got a third of the way in, the little boy stopped dead at the entrance.
he stared directly at me.
dad turned to make sure his son has followed.
the little boy stayed still at the entrance, his hands raised into claws, face frozen in a scowling grimace.
"rawr!" the little boy mouthed from a distance.
dad bewildered, "well come on, what the hell are you doing?"
the little boy put his claws away and turned to run.
dad leaped to grab him yelling, "where are you going? get in here!"
the little boy being seized quickly yelped, "daddy there's a monster!"
the dad lifted him up to prevent him from running and hauled him in, as he approached me the dad confused said,
"what monster? what is wrong with you?"
the dad turned to look at me.
i stood harmlessly with clipboard in hand.
he slowly looked down to my shirt, completely bewildered, and chuckled "thats not a monster, thats a t-shirt...good lord...."
as the toddler passed me he tried to hide his face in his father's shoulder and whispered in a long slow hiss "eyeballs....daddy......."

A Lesson, The OST: Part 1

2009-03-26T09:46:00.014-05:00

What happened to music in films? There was a time when great movies and television shows were accompanied by a sweet, sweet OST that captured the mood, touch, feel and emotion of the film specific to each scene. Usually scored by a single musician or group. This is the first part of an exhibition on a few key players.

Case: To Live And Die In L.A. (1985)
Artist: WANG CHUNG

To Live and Die in L.A. is an outstanding movie starring a bunch of nobody's and William DaFoe. It's a typical cop movie - undercover cops, breaking rules, counterfeit money, car chases. It stands out from the rest because it's got a really SICK soundtrack written by Wang Chung. Everyone probably knows Wang Chung because of "everybody have fun tonight", but it seems that not many know about the film work - most notably in TLADILA.

God Damnitt this movie is awesome, here is the opening title.

One thing that is amazing about Wang Chung in this OST is that they manage to basically recycle the same song over and over again throughout the movie. This is a different song, same drums/bass/beat, closing credits:

Holy SHIT I love this movie.

To top it off, it wouldn't be a fucking excellent OST without a title track for the opening scene. Enjoy this view:

Go watch the movie, dummy. It is very sick. For now, watch this trailer, also a wang chung original.

true story.

2009-03-25T18:47:00.004-05:00

if i had too much wine, and stumbled downstairs while adam was DJing and decided to rap, this would be the result.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysJyFAHwVP8

Believe ESP

2009-03-25T16:02:00.009-05:00

Yesterday morning i got a text message from my brother saying "baby's coming today" - his wife, 9 mo pregs, was expecting all week/end. Then I became engulfed in a shit storm of work and totally forgot about it. Never got a call either, which probably didn't help.

I can't remember exactly when, but around 8 or 9 pm I was sitting on the couch watching TV, and randomly the thought came back into my head. I didn't hear anything from my family all day. I immediately called my brother up, no answer. i called my mom, and she answered. The baby was born just minutes before.

My mom didn't know if it was a boy or girl... they were waiting till birth to be surprised, and my brother wasn't telling my parents until they got into the room. Brother calls back, it's a boy.

Let's put this into perspective. The kid's a dude. The name's Jacob. I was sitting next to roommate, Jacob. We were watching Jacob's Ladder. I had a moment minutes after the kid's birth that made me call my brother/family.

fuck yall. Paranormal. Extrasensory. Space. Extraterrestrial. shit, dudes, its real.

Believe ESP - The Deerhoofs

-UNCLE

CASEY TALKS TO CASEY XIII

2009-03-25T11:47:00.001-05:00

CASEY TALKS TO CASEY XII

2009-03-25T01:11:00.002-05:00

CASEY TALKS TO CASEY XI

2009-03-25T01:09:00.002-05:00

CASEY TALKS TO CASEY X

2009-03-25T01:06:00.003-05:00

blowin' t-pains on boats

2009-02-09T07:00:00.001-06:00

i normally don't like "comedy" music but this cd is pretty much hilarious start to finish.

The Travels Of Comeback Kid - Episode 2

2008-12-15T00:05:00.001-06:00

A Post About My Favorite Hilltop, MN Diner

2008-12-14T22:15:00.005-06:00

This morning's breakfast at Flameburger was amazing (even better than yesterday)

Those of us at the house have names for the regular waitresses. We call them "Mom" "Big Sister" "Aunt" and "Step-Mom".

Today Casey and I were served by Mom. She was total sweetheart of course, smiling, blinking, loving. Yeah, she's a milf. We gave her our best "please's" and "thank you's" as she filled our coffee up every 2 minutes. However, we were supremely out-played by a group of awesome old men. They were hugging mom, hitting on mom and massaging mom's back. She was loving it, sitting on their laps and continuing conversation.

Then just when I couldn't be any more jealous and impressed, 2 more old men come in and sit at the counter. "What happened to your specials?" one of them asked Mom, pointing to the erased special board. "We don't have specials on Sundays anymore" Mom said back (or something like that).

Old Man: "I thought you were the Sunday special"

Check. Mate.

wow. never have i been more amazed by a zinger than that. hats off to you old man. I sure hope I am that smooth when I am old.

hi from france.

2008-12-03T17:27:00.002-06:00

"men have more sexual needs than women."

Jake's Collection of Pickles and Olives

2008-12-02T20:01:00.002-06:00

seems very necessary to me.

Casey Talks To Casey IX

2008-11-14T18:08:00.002-06:00

Just trying to keep up with my progternative lifestyle, yall.

2008-11-01T20:07:00.015-05:00

I was not surprised to find at casey's post/rock/pop/crazie/melodic/cute/alternative band's (the beekeepers) halloween show with other indie/punk/disco/zany/post-epic-rock/alternative/prog/stoner/folk/rock bands last night that 'the joker' was the hit costume this year.

when i arrived, the only familiar face in the crowd & on stage was (10 things I hate about) joker in the band on stage. soon, that turned into all six members of the alt-disco-epic band jokified. I had enough of that chicken-shit, so I went over to a bar down the street to meet up with the steve zissous (bkprs) (h8 the smurfs).

i explained to them the joker situation, and exaggerated a little bit, saying that pretty much everyone in the show was joker. turns out, I was right. by the time we returned.... everyone was joker. in case you didnt know, smearing red lipstick all over your face like a 13-year old prostitute is the new 'holy crap i dont know what to do for halloween this year, plus patrick batman was kinda neato, but heath was epic-prog in 'the dark nights', get out of jail free card. by the end of the show, I counted a good dozen++ jokers. I also heard reports of many other heath zombies crawling around town last night.

would the joker have been as much of an epic/alternative hit if heath was still alive? I mean, it's like the patrick batman movie was labeled as the epic/progressive action movie of the year because he was SO INTENSE. he was good, but what about the others???

point being: so many thought they would be sooo crazy and different by being the jokester for halloweeners, but really they all stand together in a stale/douche/common/old stereotype of the mainstream culture turned alt-prog - forever trying to become 'different' and 'cool' while somehow managing to ruin everything and anything that has been, is or will be cool. you know what they say about this, so i dont even need to say it.

living a progternative lifestyle is hard yall.

Nobody Does The Dishes - You Said It Best

2008-10-27T10:09:00.002-05:00

WHO IS AGNT PLZ?

2008-10-13T23:39:00.002-05:00

Does he have a real name?
Is he going to kill me?
Is he supposed to have a mustache?
Does he have a man named BOB inside him controlling his every move?

NOBODY KNOWS

Foot Talks To Stacey

2008-09-30T22:29:00.003-05:00

ouch!

Noah pays the house a visit.

2008-09-30T11:19:00.002-05:00

Who is Noah, you ask? You will soon find out.

Casey Talks To Casey VIII

2008-09-27T19:09:00.001-05:00

Casey Talks To Casey VII

2008-09-22T22:20:00.002-05:00

Casey Talks To Casey VI

2008-09-18T22:23:00.001-05:00

Casey Talks To Casey V

2008-09-18T21:06:00.002-05:00

Nobody Does The Dishes - Buy Sick Things

2008-09-18T00:08:00.002-05:00

2008-09-10T17:55:00.003-05:00

helping add to your list of things to complain about

2008-09-10T14:29:00.007-05:00

some wednesday changes to your progternative lifestyle...

if you didn't hate it already:
according to the new catalog, Urban Outfitters is now referred to as just "U.O."

if you didn't get a chance hate it:
saw a commercial, Ruby Tuesday's have completely changed their look, menu and entrees, again.

just hate:
Guy is being pampered to be the new Emerill

Casey Talks To Casey IV

2008-09-10T14:00:00.002-05:00

Casey Talks To Casey III

2008-09-10T10:40:00.003-05:00

living a progternative lifestyle

2008-09-09T17:48:00.005-05:00

after seeing the new ADBUSTER issue,

i was reminded every personally enjoyable sidedish that life has to offer, has been hopelessly blended into all the others. someone scooped the green beans onto my mashed potatoes, and down the way someone poured the yams onto the turkey...with gravy.

there are no more niches. just little bumps of fun, thanks to the internet, some overweight middle aged mom is about to find out about right after you.
a prime progternative example:
sitting behind me outside of starbucks are these guys

their progternative conversation goes like this:

spanish spanish spanish spanish spanish spanish
spanish spanish spanish spanish spanish spanish spanish
spanish spanish spanish spanish spanish spanish spanish
spanish spanish spanish spanish spanish spanish spanish
spanish spanish spanish spanish spanish spanish spanish
spanish spanish spanish spanish spanish spanish spanish
spanish spanish spanish spanish spanish
*thick spanish accent*
"don't taze me bro!!"

laughter ensues....

Nobody does the dishes - Top Seller

2008-09-06T22:35:00.002-05:00

casey talks to casey ii

2008-09-04T20:03:00.003-05:00

Casey Talks To Casey

2008-09-03T11:28:00.005-05:00

A LETTER TO CARIBOU COFFEE

2008-08-18T17:56:00.001-05:00

because i had nothing better to do this morning...

OUT OF DARK ROAST?

Hello,

I am writing to you to tell you I am tired of Caribou Coffee stores being out of your Dark Roast blend of coffee. No, not out of it, just not making any of it.

Over the last several months (probably the last year or so, actually) I have noticed and documented a handful of Caribou stores in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area that do not have your dark roast blend made at the time that I had wished to order it, with no apparent intent of making any or offering to make some anytime soon.

*Sunday, August 17, 2008 Minneapolis - Dinkytown: Early evening. this is what tipped me over edge. It is kind of funny because I was joking to a friend while walking to the Caribou that "they probably don't have coffee anyway". Yep, no dark roast. Was offered a Light Roast instead. I got a water. Coffee guy was pretty rude about it too - and looked fairly unoccupied when I walked in. Maybe he could have been making a pot of dark roast instead?

*Saturday, August 9, 2008, Minneapolis - Cedar & Minnehaha: Evening, out of dark roast blend. offered an 'Americano' instead. I walked out with nothing.

*Tuesday, June 10, 2008, St. Anthony, MN: early evening, out of dark roast.

*Saturday, April 26, 2008, Minneapolis - Mall Of America: mid-day/afternoon, out of dark roast. Offered an Americano instead. Left to go back to Starbucks (line was out the door, which is why I went to the Caribou in the first place)

*Sunday, March 9, 2008, Edina, MN - Southdale: Mid-day/afternoon, out of dark roast.

*Saturday, February 23, 2008, Minneapolis - Mall Of America: late afternoon, out of dark roast.

This is all that I have documented, but I can remember several other instances where I have ordered a Dark Roast coffee and been turned down. Many other people I have talked to about this problem have told me the same thing. No Dark Roast; Offered an americano or light roast instead. It is not just a matter of timing or bad luck.

So here is my question: Why is it so hard to keep coffee made? Isn't that what Caribou Coffee does? You make and sell coffee. I have not been to a Caribou in the last 3-4 months, varying times of day, where they have had Dark Roast available for me to order. Also, offering me a Light Roast or an Americano instead of Dark Roast IS NOT a sufficient replacement.

I realize this probably won't do anything to change this problem. If I want coffee, I'm going to look for a Starbucks or Dunn Brothers first. At least I know I will be able to get a dark roast coffee. It is becoming increasing clear I will not be able to get a dark roast at Caribou Coffee.

Thank You,
Jason Sack

A Bloody Party...

2008-08-11T23:15:00.000-05:00

Come to our party, Saturday, 8pm. Squares.

so i went to chicago...

2008-07-27T15:18:00.002-05:00

this was the first thing i saw after exiting the bus station at about 6am:

BEARS OR HUSKIES?

2008-07-16T17:19:00.002-05:00

I really can't decide.

from: Dana Sack
to: Jason Sack
date: Wed, Jul 16, 2008 at 5:18 PM
subject: FW: Hastings Hosts... Discount Football Tickets!

Jason,

Shall I get us tickets to the Bears v. Huskies game Dec 6?

Dana Sack

--------------------------------

::Hastings Hosts... College Football!::

We are offering a limited number of discount tickets to our alumni for 2008 home games for Cal and UCLA. Be sure to take advantage of our exclusive savings!

Our discounted CAL tickets are available now for the following home games.
Cal vs. Michigan State - 8/30/08
Cal vs. Colorado State - 9/27/08
Cal vs. Arizona State - 10/04/08
Cal vs. Oregon - 11/01/08
Cal vs. Washington - 12/06/08

Purchasing Instructions:
Each ticket is $34 (seating is best available at the time of purchase).
Please click here. You can log in using “hastings” as both the username and password. Next, click the game you wish to attend and, finally, purchase the tickets. Go Bears!
Our discounted UCLA tickets are available now for the following home games.
UCLA vs. Washington State - 10/04/08
UCLA vs. Stanford - 10/18/08

Purchasing Instructions:
Each ticket is $25 (seating is best available at the time of purchase).
Please click here. Choose the game you wish to attend, then enter the special offer code: hastingslaw. Next, create an account and proceed to purchase. Go Bruins!

Shino

UC HASTINGS COLLEGE OF THE LAW :: BRINGING LIFE TO LAW

just sayin'...

2008-07-13T23:13:00.002-05:00

keep your schedules open for the evening of saturday, august 16th...it's party time v2.0 at the hou$e of cred.

Tonight's Recipe

2008-07-01T09:02:00.001-05:00

From: Dana Sack
To: Jason Sack, Mina Sack
Date: Tue, Jul 1, 2008 at 12:42 AM
Subject Tonight's Recipe

Classic braised meat dish:

Chop equal amounts of carrot, celery and onion. One large carrot, one large stalk of celery and one-half a medium onion. Double, triple or quadruple for the number of diners. Saute them in a fry pan with one tablespoon of butter and one tablespoon of oil, olive oil is best.

While that is sauteeing, wrap an English short rib in two slices of bacon, attaching the ends with toothpicks. Classic recipes call for tying the bacon on with string. Toothpicks are easier. Tonight I did two English short ribs and two sausages (only one slice of bacon for each sausage).

When vegetables are soft, transfer to a deep pot. Saute meat in the same fry pan, until the bacon is cripsy and the meat browned on all sides. Transfer to the big pot.

Next, brown potatoes in the bacon fat, 3-4 fingerling potatoes would be best or small red potatoes. Do not try to cook them through. They will cook through in the big pot. Just brown the potatoes for flavor. Add them to the big pot.

Finally, measure out a cup of beef stock and a cup of red wine, and swirl some of it in the frying pan over low heat to "deglaze" the pan. Deglazing means to free all the bits of meat, vegetable and cooked on meat and vegetable juices, by swirling the fluie d around in the pan. You can use a soft spoon to free up the bits and pieces. A good way to end up with a clean pan at the end.

Add the deglazing fluid to the pot, along with the rest of the beef stock and wine. It should be enough to just cover the meat.

Simmer for 1-2 hours. Stir occassionally to keep from burning to the bottom of the pan. I cook this 20-30 minutes in a pressure cooker. The idea is to meld all the flavors. With the pressure cooker, the whole thing takes less than hour. Best cooked the night before and reheated the next night, or, agian, use the pressure cooker to soften the meat and get all the flavors melded togeher, without waiting for an hour or more. The beef should be soft enough to cut with a fork and full of flavor.

Chicken or pork could work, too, but beef has the most flavor. Chicken stock for chickent, but still use red wine.

This is classic braised meat or pot roast. For more people, you could use a tritip or sirloin roast, also less expensive than steak, but tough and needs the braisihng (boiling) and the time or pressure cooker.

Serve with salad or green beans or zuchini.

Enjoy.

Buy Something.

2008-06-26T12:58:00.003-05:00

Got some spare change to burn? Get something shipped to you for $10.

somethingstore.com

remixed/mashed trailers...

2008-06-22T23:25:00.003-05:00

...are always a good time.

in an unsurprising move....

2008-06-20T19:06:00.012-05:00

what happens when punchy goes out of town, & stacey starts working 12 hours a day so she's not home to unload the dishwasher all the time anymore?

nobody does the dishes.

A blog worth blogging about...

2008-06-19T09:22:00.002-05:00

HIPSTER RUNOFF

Words to add to your vocabulary immediately:

alt-bro

alt-mainstream-girls

humble AZNs

alt celebrity

Quote-worthy

"R u from the Future or the Past?"

"Alt Girl: Is it a tall tee?
RCRD HEAD: No. It is called an alt bro moo moo."

"The best DJs in the world are willing to POUR DRANK IN2 MY MOUF"

An open letter to Kanye West...

2008-06-12T11:43:00.002-05:00

Thank you for changing my life last night.

Not with the music, not with the lights, not with the clothing, not with the people. But with you, and your words. I heard you. I listened to every syllable of your closing speech. You articulated so incredibly well the emotion, the inspiration, the importance of what you were doing, and it showed humility not arrogance. Its cliche, but I was left speechless, it was sublime.

There would have been no better way to end an experience like that. I was taken from the most primal emotions (standing on the arms of our seats, screaming 'The Good Life' to my friends, and the 40 other strangers around us) back up to the highest intellectual emotions in your closing words. Forget Madonna, U2, and Elvis. You're going after Mozart, Shakespeare, and Warhol.

You may never read this, but it won't matter. It's like Huckabees: Everything is connected so you knew all this before I said it, and nothing is connected so it wouldn't matter if you did.

My Car

2008-06-10T12:44:00.001-05:00

from: Dana Sack
to: Jason Sack
date: Mon, Jun 9, 2008 at 7:28 PM
subject: Your Car

Jason,

Adolpho who does brush clearing at our house and at Lafayette, has a brother who would like to buy your car, as-is.

Are you interested?

If so, check the internet for car prices and choose a price. We will let him have a mechanic check it out. We deliver it to the mechanic and pick it up, and the buyer does not view or touch the car while it is at the mechanic's shop.

Or not, if you are keeping the car.

Are you thinking in Japanese, yet?

Dana Sack

like jason...

2008-06-08T21:51:00.007-05:00

apparently there is someone out there who either a) has the same name as me or b) just liked my name enough to register all combinations of it on gmail.

but i do need some help trying to figure out which one of the automatically suggested alternatives from google to make my email address. i think my favorite is amo.staceyamo.stacey3. short & simple.

Punch, is that you?

2008-06-03T17:19:00.004-05:00

DarcelDissapoints.com

drive much?

2008-06-03T00:09:00.002-05:00

some drunk driver crashed into a bike race.

amish cheaters

2008-05-30T19:43:00.002-05:00

Amish Woman trying to fit a wheelchair full of Amish crap in an elevator with her Amish partner: "Maybe we oughta try a-nudder-one."

Me: "No, you can fit. Just let me rearrange some of this hospital crap."

The Amish Woman then rolled the wheelchair into the elevator and the Amish man fallowed her. They both smelled awful. The elevator went one floor down and the doors opened to several people waiting to go down as well but could not fit due to all the Amish and Hospital crap.

Amish Woman: FULL!

We then went down one more floor and the doors opened.

Amish Woman: FULL!

This exact thing happened 2 more times until we reach the bottom level. The Amish Woman rolled the wheelchair out and the man who had injured his arm by doing something totally sweet without using modern technology looked into my eyes like I had just saved his life.

Amish Man with arm in sling because he injured it without using modern technology: long pause... " T h a n k y o u . . . "

Me (in my mind): "Get off the fucking elevator, you hypocrite."

I ain't no...

2008-05-30T14:40:00.003-05:00

This one is a classic so I will add it now:

Man A: "Mang, I cut my self, mang!"

Man B: "That looks bad. Why don't you go up to the Emergency Room?"

Man A: "I be aight."

Man B: "But it's right upstairs, they can look at it right now."

Man A: "I AIN'T NO WOMAN, MANG!"

bag-dem-sausajez

2008-05-30T14:23:00.004-05:00

I am temporarily turning this in to NOBODY DOES THE DISHES / OVERHEARD BY CASEY IN NORTH MEMORIAL HOSPITAL because what people at my work have to say is way funnier than what I can come up with.

Woman on mobile telephone: "Boo... ...I'm call'n to see if ya'll want a bag-dem-sausajez... ...DO YA'LL WANT A BAG-DEM-SAUSAJEZ OR NOT?!?"

Gobbledigook

2008-05-29T14:25:00.004-05:00

Wow. This is really awesome. Sigur Ros' 5th record comes out june 24th. This is very weird and different and good. Everything I would expect them to do.

Frostop Rootbeer...

2008-05-28T17:15:00.004-05:00

...is really good. Anyone agree?

Firetruck, Cupcake & Mongkok

2008-05-26T12:40:00.003-05:00

Kitchen Life: Complete

2008-05-24T12:01:00.002-05:00

Blog neglect is not a pleasant issue, but the remotely Spring like weather has really distracted us all. I did think it was appropriate to share some updated pictures, since we've pretty much got it wrapped up.

Do you guys hear anything?

2008-05-21T09:11:00.002-05:00

Probably not, because really, actually, nobody is doing the dishes.

All you'll probably be hearing now is the humming of our new kitchen friend:

seriously, dicks. I don't care if you are in Mexico, or busy getting smushed for the first time. Turn this thing back on again.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAKE-AIRS

2008-05-14T10:18:00.001-05:00

school's out...

2008-05-09T13:11:00.005-05:00

once the weather starts to get warm, all the crazies come back out at the u of m campus. some of the crazies i've enjoyed, others (read: the recent display equating abortion with genocide) not so much.

yesterday, however, i came across probably the most unexpected of the crazies. there was some student group (i was almost late to class, so i didn't pay attention to what was actually going on) who brought a CAMEL to campus. it was pacing around in a circle, in a cage probably 8 feet in diameter. it was sad & unnecessary.

here's to (at least) 15 months of no classes.

happy birthday adam!!!

2008-05-09T08:55:00.000-05:00

YOU ROCK!

Friends + their friends + pub + beer + pool = Glug

2008-05-07T11:00:00.001-05:00

"Glug Time"

Hilarious. Just randomly stumbled upon this. NPLZ?

ps:

2008-05-07T01:05:00.002-05:00

even kanye is finna blownda t-pain.
i don't think i'm supposed to like young jeezy, but i think that i really like this song...

just in case you live in a cave...

2008-05-07T00:24:00.002-05:00

this little guy is the cutest thing i've ever seen.

WALL-E, je t'aime.

Between The Glug And Adam

2008-05-05T13:58:00.001-05:00

Between The Glug And Adam from Casey Hjelmberg on Vimeo.

the magic fridge

2008-05-02T18:45:00.008-05:00

are you watching closely?

the pledge...

the turn...

the prestige

FW: Sunday May 4th Kobe Comedy Show

2008-05-01T20:19:00.005-05:00

From: Dana Sack
To: Jason Sack, Misako Sack, others

Cross Cultural English-Japanese
Comedy Show in Kobe
Sunday, May 5th 9:30~
at The Blue Fox in Sannomiya
1,500 yen admission (includes one drink)

Featuring:
Tokyo Comedy Store Resident Comedian
Spring Day (yes, that is her real name!)
with
Comedy Juggler/Magician
Brian Hulse

The Blue Fox
7F Konan Asett Sanmei Bldg., 21-2-1 Kitanagasa-dori, Chuo-ku, Kobe
078-321-6022

I think I might pass on this one, Dana.

The Internet

2008-05-01T00:18:00.002-05:00

http://www.qbn.com/topics/550553/

i have no words. today was amazing.

things that go through my head revisteded

2008-04-30T21:32:00.003-05:00

true love.
for those who remember, there was a huge hoopla over the laser disk version of who framed roger rabbit. supposedly you could pause on a certain frame and jessica rabbit's corset was see-through.
those were the days.
...did i lose you at laser disk?

vous avez été sélectionnée pour un poste d’assistante...

2008-04-30T18:28:00.005-05:00

i had convinced myself that my application to teach in france had been lost somewhere in the catacombs of the french embassy, since it had been 4 months & my application fee hadn't been cashed. but to my surprise, i woke up on tuesday morning to find an e-mail stating that i had been accepted to the "district" of lille. i had just been telling punchy on monday how i wouldn't know what to do if i got the job, because i had already accepted my fate as a poor grad student in mankato. we all know that it took me about 2 seconds to chose moving to france (grad school = deferred).

lille is basically the best place to be in france (if you ask me), & it was my first choice. by train, it's an hour from paris, an hour & a half from london, 30 minutes from brussels & a couple of hours from amsterdam. you basically get the convenience of paris without its expense. & it's the 4th largest city in france, with a huge college-aged population. it is a city with a ton of history (just look at that picture. amazing.) & it will be great to explore. it is perfect for me.

french girls definitely do not wear hoodies & jeans, so it looks like between now & october when i leave, i'll have to learn how to actually dress myself. uh oh.

Family

2008-04-29T13:40:00.007-05:00

I've somehow managed to make it on a personal family mailing list of people not my family. I've received many emails about Misako and Dana's travels over the past few months. Usually I just delete and ignore, but I think I might start sharing them with everyone. I really wish I saved the other ones. There were some great shots of Misako catching a big fucking fish a few weeks ago. Apparently this current sender owns a successful law firm in San Francisco.

Date Tue, Apr 29, 2008 at 1:35 PM
Subject Lar Rieus in Seattle

Misako and I have made our reservations to join Janet Lar Rieu Pantoja's family in the melanoma research "scavenger hunt" starting at the Space Needle on June 1.

We are going up the day before, to revisit my favorite spots from when Jason was there: the Asian Museum and botanical house, the Japanese Gardens, and Pike's Market.

We are staying at a lodge that Janet says Barry and Suzanne like, near their home in Woodinville.

Dana Sack
Sack Rosendin, LLP

My new email family:

Misako Sack
Dana Sack
Paul Sack
Todd Sack
Kirby Sack
Tyler Sack
Mina Sack

This is not obscure enough to be spam.

things that go through my head in a day revisted

2008-04-28T21:06:00.003-05:00

eating is one of my favorite things to do.
going to the bathroom isn't one of my least favorite things to do, but its something i HAVE to do, so therefore its bummed onto the "undesirable" list.
to circumvent any loss to my happiness in a day, as a result of time spent going to the bathroom, i've taken up the project of eating while relieving myself.
starting slowly, i began eating meals, and instead of finishing my bite, i'll just continue while making my way over to pee.
this was all due to laziness and more of an accident...a eureka of sorts.
consuming, while producing, while releasing...
transcendental, enlightening, or merely disgusting?
3/5ths of the human machine at use simultaneously...is there no god???
dare you take the red pill?

things that go through my head in a day

2008-04-28T20:46:00.003-05:00

Dear Taylor,

at first glance you're the kind of girl that would make me chew off my left hand just to touch you. with that sassy country twang i basically would sell one of my kidney's to buy you expensive jewelry... only to hear you say my name, no need for a thank you. and im sure even in sweatpants tucked into ugg boots, no make up, and a collar ripped xl hoodie, you'd be the most adorable thing on the planet.
but then, you're blonde.
the initial shock of being near you would wain so quickly once i realized you're a bratty jesus freak with no concern for anyone other than yourself...and maybe Miley Cyrus. i'd end up doing all those cute things only to get you to notice me 5 minutes of your day, in the hopes you'd take your clothes off. by that point i'd have already avoided boredom by taking full advantage of putting you through any compromising, embarrassing, totally selfish sexual act i could convince you to partake in.
after that i'd probably just prolong the eventual break-up, by telling you anything you'd never expect a guy to say, and then subject you to verbal abuse at random until you're wiling to sleep outside my doorstep in the hopes that you just get to see me.

if you were only brunette or auburn-haired,
things probably could have worked out
love,
jake.

Kitchen Life: Hurray!

2008-04-26T17:59:00.002-05:00

So after a busy couple of weeks, with little movement in the kitchen realm, we were able to knock out a BIG part of the cabinet build this weekend. Cabinets? Check. Countertop? Check. Doors, Drawers, Sink and Toekick? Check.

Its starting to feel like the real deal.

Don't look too closely at this picture, its actually 4 pictures blended together so the angles are off and it might appear that we don't know what we are doing. Which we don't.

The best part, the sink:

Stacey is never going to be able to reach anything!

dreams...(no, not the cranberries song.)

2008-04-24T00:22:00.003-05:00

after i told punchy about the dream i had the other night, he said i had to blog about it...so here is my attempt, although it will not be anywhere near as awesome as the actual dream.

i dreamt that the RIAA was suing me for downloading programs illegally. apparently their jurisdiction has expanded, & apparently i feel really guilty about downloading something if i'm dreaming about it.

so, when you're being sued, the first thing you should do is get a lawyer. there is no better lawyer than your dad, right?

this is an actual picture of my dad; he's pretty much a bad ass.
but my request to have my dad as my lawyer is denied. why?
the RIAA said since he didn't know how to password-protect his wireless internet, he was not competent enough to be a lawyer in a technical lawsuit. hmm. okay.

being the caring person i am, i then decided that the most important thing for me to do is to warn my roommates that they should stop downloading programs illegally, so that they won't get sued too.

their response?

Bring It Back

2008-04-20T17:49:00.005-05:00

Being a kid was ridiculously hard. Don't think so? Well, here is your challenge: Find a picture of yourself as a kid, and bring it back to life. The Era, The Clothes, The Pose. Easy enough? Then wear that outfit to work. And be a brat. Stomp your feet. Demand that ice cream cone. You won't get it. Life was rough as shit.

Then post your results here.

reeaaaady.... GO!

war.

2008-04-19T22:00:00.006-05:00

the target: my senior thesis.

my weapon arsenal:

as well as a disgusting amount of literary criticism...

the reward:

deadline: tuesday, 4:40pm.

ps - this santogold album is the jamz.

today's findings....

2008-04-17T23:43:00.008-05:00

i did a google image search for mankato, where i will (stupidly) be moving in august to start (getting paid to go to) grad school (so i will have to resign from the house of cred). apparently it is a tropical paradise. right.

today was "beautiful u day," where apparently we're supposed to get together & talk about how beautiful campus is or something (i really have no idea).
there was a "waste-free lunch" today. in an ironic move, the posters ended up on the ground with other trash after the event was over.

the following two posters were up in coffman:
if i hadn't moved to minnesota, i would have never gotten this poster, as box elder bugs do not exist in colorado. please note the description of the movie, bros.

i'm hoping he's kidding. (make sure you zoom on this one)

Important moments in Hollywood: 1983

2008-04-16T23:29:00.001-05:00

Important moments in Hollywood: 1984

2008-04-16T23:01:00.001-05:00

compton heights rears its ugly head....

2008-04-16T01:41:00.004-05:00

so it's 1:42am, & i just heard a bunch of gunshots.
or at least, i'm pretty sure i did. i haven't heard any gunshots for, oh, if i had to estimate: 8 years & 361 days.

good times...?

story time

2008-04-15T21:23:00.014-05:00

tonight i went to cold stone.

there was a huge line.

but something was different about this seemingly typical cold stone line, it wasn't moving.
only three couples ahead of me.
no movement.

i wanted that damn ice cream, so i stuck it out.

i got to the counter, and realized what i was dealing with.

no, thats what you'd expect to see, imagine these guys were behind the counter

my ice cream girl was blazed. hella chinese eye'd. fully baked.

me: "i would like to have a LIKE IT with strawberry and kit kat"
her "what?"
me "strawberry, and kit kat, IN in....LIKE IT sized"
her " you want strawberry's in it?"
me "??? no, i want strawberry, put KIT KAT in it"
her "i can't hear you...what?"
me "strawberry.......with.......KIT.......KAT"
her *scooping* "you wanted a LOVE IT size?"
me "no LIKE IT sized."
her *grabs the twix candy bar*
me "NO, NOT TWIX, KIT......KAT......OVER HERE"

that reminded me of a when i was younger and i got a job with my high school friends at the local Boston Market

the entire kitchen prep staff and dishers were my close friends.

they used to smoke weed in the freezer.

then they'd go back to work. not just high, COMPLETELY FRIED.

my buddy Alex would go back to the potato slicer, which resembled a medieval weapon, huge 3 foot lever and all

with eye's completely closed up, throwing potatoes into the 3 inch diameter hole and slamming the lever down each time as fast has he could, giggling all the while...
alex resembled one of those crazy weasels from Roger Rabbit.

alex never cut his fingers off, but he probably should have.

There will be blood.

2008-04-15T19:13:00.002-05:00

So in the course of any home improvement project there is bound to be some injuries. Thankfully, the worst thing thats happened so far in KitchenLife2008 has been a couple scratched and a little blood from a sharp L-bracket.

Coincidentally, I bled RIGHT BEFORE we decided to watch there will be blood, and managed to stop at McDonald's for some "I will drink your" Milkshakes. The milkshakes isn't much of a coincidence since 98% of the time I watch a movie I get one. But still fun.

Proof:

this will ALWAYS be funny.

2008-04-14T23:55:00.001-05:00

braden wise...is a wise man.

2008-04-13T23:24:00.012-05:00

one of my friends just updated his portfolio & even though i am probably the least qualified person in the universe to write about design, i was totally impressed with everything on his site & felt like i should share it with people who actually know about this stuff.

he'll probably be confused when he sees hits coming from this blog. hi brady!

i really enjoyed these 80's references...

Kitchen Life: The Update

2008-04-08T23:54:00.007-05:00

It's been a busy two weeks, but we are making big strides on the new food room. They say pictures speak 1,000 word, so I will let them do most of the talking.

Demolition

Electrical

Plumbing

Wall Prep

IKEA Fun

Real Life Dr. Mario

2008-04-08T22:32:00.002-05:00

Driving, dodging, packing — we did it all. It's about time our Dr. Mario skills payed off. Without them, we wouldn't have been able to do this:

Level 1

Level 20

If you have 10 minutes to spare...

2008-04-07T14:46:00.001-05:00

some strange melody.

2008-04-05T01:55:00.008-05:00

here is my favorite song from the new m83 album. it belongs in a tragic 80's movie. please enjoy. (apparently the player below is just a clip, click here to hear the whole song.)

relevance

2008-04-04T21:31:00.003-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkbVtCszEJc&feature=related

my beard and what it means to me

2008-04-04T12:18:00.005-05:00

In the American Classic Romance Film "The Notebook," Noah Calhoun has his one true love taken away from him by her parents and he totally joins the army.

Then when he feels like he'll never see her again he takes on a transformation from young, dumb guy to a devastated, broken and tormented house builder.

After that he transforms into James Garner but that part of the movie is boooooring so forget that. The key to his change was his sweet beard and just like him I have been slaving away at our kitchen for 2, maybe 3 hours a day for the past 2 and a half days and now hair is growing on my face and it's tight.

I'm just like Noah Calhoun but except instead of wanting a girl to be stoked on my house I just want a dishwasher.

would you rather live in the ascendancy of a civilization, or in its decline?

2008-04-03T21:36:00.012-05:00

en·tro·py

n. pl. en·tro·pies
1.Symbol S For a closed thermodynamic system, a quantitative measure of the amount of thermal energy not available to do work
2. A measure of the disorder or randomness in a closed system
3. Inevitable and steady deterioration of a system or society

believe it or not, this toaster oven is only three days old.

hardcore credlife.

2008-04-03T17:40:00.002-05:00

while at old chicago on sunday, the house of cred (sans jake) reminisced. most of the time it was spent talking about a select few (who will be getting their own posts....at some point), & a little bit about hardcore. it is strange to think that hardcore was essentially my entire life for so long. it was what i "did." mostly when i look back at my life then, i realize that i was generally ridiculous, but it was fun. a lot of fun. every now & then i get kind of bummed that i have 100% lost interest in it over the last few years, but i guess that's what happens when you get older & other things take priority. i met a lot of amazing people, & if it wasn't for hardcore (well, & MOC, haha), i definitely never would have ended up in minnesota.

while making my usual internet lurking rounds, i found this video from hellfest 2002. hellfest 2002 was a trip. by trip, i mean, it mostly consisted of dirt/sand. & other people being in our hotel room (although the telling of that story is better left to jake...since i barely remembered the details). in this video you can witness all my hardcore retardness in its glory. i am the girl in the red shirt, bandana & pig tails who pops up towards the bottom of the screen after the video gets a little weird. this video definitely brought back a flood of old memories... i better go put on my reach the sky hoodie.

what feeds the fire...

I want to see the world in three dimensions.

2008-04-02T23:05:00.005-05:00

In recent weeks, I have had increased interest in 3D. Most specifically the creation of Anaglyph images — bringing two dimensions into three.

The other day I stumbled across Bjork's 'Wanderlust' video. I can't stop watching it. It was apparently produced for [anaglyph] 3D. Watching it in 2D makes me want to fly to the moon. I can't imagine what it will do to my brain when I watch it in 3D.

A few weeks ago I proclaimed to some friends that "I wish I saw the world in 3D." I quickly acknowledged the ridiculousness of the statement — I didn't mean it literally. But, for some reason, there is something spectacular about putting on glasses and seeing flat things pop out in front of you. You don't get that sort of reaction seeing real life everyday, but is there something more than what we see?

Brian Greene explains the possibility of there being more than three dimensions — non-existent to what we can see/touch/feel. I wonder, if all we need to do to bring 2 dimensions into 3 is put on some goofy glasses, how do we get to the 6th or the 11th dimensions? Drugs? Maybe so, but a better question is do we even exist in dimensions beyond what we currently see? Most likely it is something we will never know.

I just watched the Bjork video for the 5th time in a row, and it is more clear than ever that she gets this more than most. She is outrageous. Maybe the answer is Iceland? Bizarro.

I'm going.

treat me like a prostitute

2008-04-02T21:47:00.009-05:00

BDSM. you may not think you're into it. you are. you just don't know it yet. maybe having someone tie you up and spank you. maybe they step on your balls in high heels. maybe they pee in your mouth. maybe they take a huge steaming crap on your chest. anyway you like it, and the result is always the same...you don't know why you want it, you hate it during, but it feels awesome when they stop. then you thank them for the humiliation and pay them way too much money. and you want to go back. you love it. i'm a victim as much as you are...but we're in a special club that uncool people aren't a part of. we call them boutique shops.

let me give you an example:

SUPREME

used to be a local skateshop in manhattan. now they have only art boards on the wall. countless numbers of idiots flock there religiously to stand in line for days to purchase super limited product. my first purchase at supreme was a hat. nothing limited, but the treatment was as if there were a hundred people outside.

grabbed the hat from the shelf, and walked to the counter. the teenager leaning on it, looked past me, watching people outside. an uncomfortable amount of time passed before he looked at me. saying nothing, he walked away from me, into the back room, came back out with the same hat, obviously from a box. he muttered something about it being a display hat. so i put my hat back. the hat i wanted to purchase, that he had retrieved for me, was placed on the counter.

he then resumed leaning on the counter, and then looked past me once again. i stood there, again an uncomfortable amount of time passed, this time with my wallet out, and the hat in front of me on the counter. there the teenager remained ignoring me. sometime later a guy came out, on a cordless phone talking very loudly about something business. he looked at my hat, typed something into the computer, my total magically came up on the display in front of me. he yanked the cash out of my hand, he typed some more, pulled out my change (bills and coins) threw them on the counter...with coins rolling everywhere. closed his till and walked into the back room...all with one hand. he never even looked at me or stopped his conversation on the phone. the teenager waited till he left. got up slowly, pulled out a bag and tossed the hat inside. he then resumed his relaxed position.
and guess what? i thanked him. ignored? yep. treated like shit? check. no goodbye? not at all...but man was i stoked that i got that hat. and i went back a couple times to get other hats.

here's another example:

One On One

they are a coffee shop on Washington ave. with a full restaurant coffee shop operating in the front, and a bike shop in the back. what the amazing part is, they have an incredible collection of junk bikes and vintage frames downstairs. loving the thrill of the hunt, i headed into the "boneyard". i spent a good hour down there. digging through junk, sorting through good bikes and sweet frames, till i found the one. it was old. it was set up for exactly what i needed. it was a sweet deal, it was an incredible sparkly green. this bike had character, and i wanted it. i carried it upstairs and rolled it through the coffeeshop, and into the tiny shop in the back. big ass smile on my face. the two guys working ignored me when i came in. so i approached the case. one guy looked at me. then went back to airblasting the crud out of a frame. so i spoke up and asked the airblaster, if he could answer a few questions before i bought it...

me "whats the size on the seat post here, it looks a little small"
airblaster "yeah. thats a FRENCH frame."
me "so....is it possible to find a modern piece to fit, it looks smaller?"
airblaster " its a FRENCH frame. FRENCH sizing."
me "ok....so...smaller? the stem is going to be odd as well?"
airblaster "that is an older bike sizing"
me "um.....ok......which is?"
airblaster (now real loudly) "pssh...i don't know, probably a 22.0 blah blah blah"
me (moving on totally confused) "so the drop outs on the back are what, a 120, or 130mm?"
airblaster (really annoyed) "that only works for bikes after 1990, that is a old FRENCH frame"
me (still confused) "so, then what size is it?"
airblaster "i don't know like a 126mm"
me "126?"
airblaster "yeah, i said 126mm."

he gave me a dirty look, and went back to looking busy. the other guy eventually came over and rang me up.
and guess what? i thanked them. i loved it. it makes my new bike seem so much more awesome.

Supreme? assholes. total dicks. but i want a 100% original dick made hat.
One On One? ruthless pricks. the Twin Tone of bikes. i'm sorry i wanted to buy a bike, i thought thats what you sold.

what im trying to say is, the cool kids won't let you play cause you're not part of the club. elitist? pretentious? just plain snobs? you'd think you're going to shop at a place of business. but you're wrong. a boutique shop is where you go to pay for a service. a hat? fuck it i'll go to supreme and have them shit on my chest for 30 bucks. a pair of shoes? no thanks, just slap my ass till its beet red, then pee on it. i'll walk home barefoot. just to say i was there, and loved it.
no matter what the service, a boutique shop is still a business. maybe forcing your customers through a vigorous master/slave whipping, might not be the best way to get them to return. maybe customers should know that club membership is needed to participate before purchase...

on a related note, here's some other groups you can try to be a part of, spend way too much money on, and in the end, only get dirty looks for trying to fit in:

Dungeons and Dragons.

people take this shit seriously. if you didn't read the manual, don't have your own character already made, and you don't speak as if you're the character presently, then don't even try. real players dress up like their character, and extreme players actually duel it out to demonstrate the fight you just rolled dice over.

Magic the Gathering.

there are world championships for this game. spend ridiculously huge amounts of money on packets or random cards in the hopes of getting some cards that will give you an upperhand against your opponent. spend money, get your ass kicked playing against a pure form of elitist, who is most likely 15-35, fat, and a virgin.

Our name is Earl

2008-03-31T21:20:00.011-05:00

as many of you may know, a remodeling is fully underway. within weeks our existence will soon be partnered with a brand new 21st century kitchen. fully loaded with tile, working electrical outlets, and a dishwasher. slowly the house is brought out of the dark ages

and into the luxurious modern 90's.

but seriously its going to be awesome when its finished.

until then, we've been forced to relocate what appliances were worth keeping, so the room could be gutted.

two days into this new adjusted lifestyle, Jason comes out into the living room and merely says "this is weird, it feels uncomfortable, no room to move around"
see, Snackers and i are determined to continue in our daily routine of working, eating, watching the same movies/television, eating, typing on laptops, eating and playing Dr. mario... regardless of this temporary adjustment.

Jason is right, its not like we live in Columbia Heights anymore...its different....it feels like...Fridley.

like our trailerpark brothers a mile away, we've got four cars behind the house, and we too have a kitchen, IN the living room.

we share other similarities with trailer life, such as a front door in the living room, and that new addition, hidden away by a clear plastic sheet

we got new dishes at sam's club.
cause realistically a white trash home doesn't actually need working appliances. just the appearance of modern life.
and because of that, we can't actually cook anything, or use any real dishes, cause the sink is gone.

so we got dinner for later. add hot dogs or tuna, and some peas, and we've got a microwave-casserole ready in no time. the best part? after dinner in the kitchen/living room, we can just throw everything away. in the garbage, in the living room.

Dear Minnesota: Cut It Out

2008-03-31T20:24:00.002-05:00

I don't understand why people feel the need to consistently under-dress themselves in obviously extreme weather conditions. I'm not talking about the ridiculous weather today itself. That'd be useless. I'm talking about shorts in the snow.

Making my way home through the snow globe after work, I noticed a kid waiting for the bus in nothing but shorts and a t-shirt. Listen brat, take a look around you. IT IS SNOWING. AND IT IS COLD. Spring was here yesterday, but it didn't shut the door on its way out this morning.

Then I just laughed — because, first of all I shouldn't have been surprised to see this in my neighborhood. But then I remembered the Stuff White People Like post a few weeks ago. White people like shorts. It's a fact. We get a whiff of spring in late march, and remain ignorant until all of our white worries have melted away. They said it better, so I won't elaborate further. But listen friends, dress for the now, not the yesterday.

but, I suppose if you have to, knock yourself out.

but my directions were like, perfect.

2008-03-31T19:42:00.002-05:00

akon finna blownda a t-pain...snoop dogg guest stars.

the animation studio my friend works for made this. it rules.

kitchen life: the new beginning.

2008-03-29T14:48:00.007-05:00

perfect.

How To Speak Hip, Vol. 1 & 2

2008-03-28T11:54:00.003-05:00

hey man, get on the horn, call some freaky people, and we'll have a scene. ya dig?

dig yourself, baby, and groove with it.